Today's thoughts

Sigh. The kids are waking up around 6:30 or 7 these days. I have time to say my prayers in the morning and that's about it. I was really enjoying having that precious 1/2 hour or 45 minutes to myself to work out.

I caught a cold last week and got out of the habit of getting up early. I just needed to rest, ya know? I think it's just about gone now and I have been trying to get back into the habit of getting up early. I set my alarm for 6:30am and it takes me about 15-20 minutes to get out of bed and get ready. But I'm getting there. I think now I will start waking up at 6 am to make sure I have time to do at least a few minutes of exercise. 

I just want to feel skinny and pretty again...

Make time

I added a new workout to my schedule. I dread doing the bike twice a week so I replaced one of those days with my Leslie Sansone Walking DVDs. Some of it is a bit cheesy but it's a good workout and a nice change up from the stuff I've been doing. And since I can't go walking outside by myself right now I can at least get some walking in at home.

I had an epiphany this week that now that I have kids I need to make time to do the things I need to do. Working out is one of them. I've been setting my alarm for 6:30am this week so I can say my prayers and work out before the kids are up. I'd really like to get a shower in too before they wake up. I may have to gradually work up to 6 am so I have time to do all those things. Although it seems like the earlier I wake up the earlier my kids are up too. Grr. I'm afraid that I'm going to quit. I'll do great for a week and then miss one day and the rest is history. It's scarey...

Standing Ab Workout

Sean's surgery was almost 3 weeks ago and  I've been so busy taking care of him and the kids that I haven't worked out since then. I found this great little video by Jillian Michaels. A standing ab workout. I always thought that any of her workout would be way to hard for me but this was very doable (do-able?). I think I might add this to my morning ritual. Go here.

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I went to a friend's wedding this weekend and when I saw a picture of myself with all of my old friends, I was so sad to see myself. I don't feel like I look that way. I'm just gonna say it, fat. I want to look the way I feel, ya know? It's embarrassing.

Day 3

Really didn't want to work out today. Didn't sleep well last night so I am oober tired. But I knew that tomorrow I could rest so I could make it one more day. Glad I did it. Oh, and I lost another pound :) I finally feel like the ball is rolling!

Day 2

Today was Pilates. I'm glad I only have to do this once a week. It's hard!! And exhausting. I was going to wake up early today so I wouldn't kids jumping and crawling on me while I tried to exercise. But I was up late last night so I slept in and exercised during the kids' nap time. I'm already noticing a difference in my depression after only 2 days of exercising.

Day 1

Today was day 1 of my 3-month challenge. When Katy went down for a nap I took Brandon upstairs with me to watch TV while I rode the bike. My feet started hurting and by the end of my 25-minute ride they were tingling and really hurting. I think that's one reason I quit riding the bike. Maybe it's my shoes. They are like 7 years old... But I did it! I rode 5 miles on the bike. Felt good.

I am really nervous about this challenge. I keep hearing about an incentive that people are doing where they put a dollar in a jar every time they work out. when they get $100 they get to go shopping. I love love love that idea but we're poor so I might have to come up with something else...

6.29.12

I worked out today. I haven't done it for the past 2 weeks. Last time I weighed in I lost 1 pound by only eliminating snacks from my day. But it turns out that not exercising makes me depressed. It reminds me of that line from Legally Blonde: "Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands. They just don't."

I've been thinking of giving myself a goal date to work towards. Mom and Dad get home in 3 months and in October Katy will be 1 and I wanted to get family pictures taken then. So, that's my goal date. I just have to push through for 3 months and then we'll see how I feel then.

Sean  suggested I designate specific days of the week that I don't exercise. I've learned that taking 2 days off in a row (like Saturday and Sunday) is too hard for me. It's just too much at one time and I can't get back into my routine. I haven't decided which days I'll take off yet, though. Maybe Sunday and Thursday or something. Yes, Sunday and Thursday. Decision made.

Starting July 1st

Yay :)

I weighed myself last week and gained another pound. I was distraught. I know this blog has been a bit depressing so I decided not to post anything. Sean has been trying to help me figure out what I'm doing wrong and suggested I count calories again. So I did. And I was eating too much. I've stopped snacking altogether and am not eating after 8 p.m. again. And.....I lost 1 pound!!! I know it's not much but man it feels good. I didn't even work out the entire week and still lost weight. Yes! I thought I would feel deprived and starving with no snacks during the day but I feel, surprisingly upbeat and not at all like I'm missing out on anything. I hope to keep up this 1-pound-a-week weightloss. If that happens I will lose 50 lbs in a year. Awesome.

Not good...

Weighed myself today. When I first started my weightloss, over 2 years ago, I weighed more than I ever have before. Before I got pregnant with Katy I had lost about 25 pounds and only gained 15 pounds while pregnant with her. Today I am only 5 pounds away from the most I have ever weighed. It's so depressing! Why is this SO hard?? It has been really hard lately for me to want to work out because with 2 kids I'm just so tired. For the past few weeks someone wakes up in the night and the other one wakes up earlier than normal in the morning. I just don't have the energy to exercise, ya know?

I don't know what to do.

Finally!

Weighed in today and I lost 0.5 pounds! I know it's not much but man it makes me feel good! I'm so glad I didn't gain any this weigh in!!

I have been exercising at night now after the kids go to bed. It has been a lot easier than I thought it would be. Sean and I like to do our own thing until 9 pm and then we watch Friends together. So during the time that Sean does his thing, I exercise. It's actually a pretty great set up! And is apparently affective (effective?)!

YAY!!!!!!!!

Emotional Eating

Things are not going all that well. I know this blog has been pretty depressing so far and I'm sorry about that. But writing about how I'm feeling is helping me I think. I saw this article from Sparkpeople   about emotional eating that totally spoke to me. I am a huge emotional eater. I think my biggest problem is eating when I'm bored.  These are some points of the article that I think relate most to me and/or that I want to incorporate into my life:
-If people only ate when they were genuinely hungry, most of us would never have weight problems. Unfortunately, emotions drive us to eat more often than actual hunger pangs.
-You can’t eat if your hands are busy.
-Many people associate home with food and don’t eat if they’re not in their regular surroundings, so spending time out of the house keeps them from munching.
-Any moderate to intense physical activity will lower your stress levels and help you deal with your problems more effectively. Try...gardening, as many people find working with the earth to be soothing.

I weighed myself again this morning. I probably shouldn't have since Sean and I went on a date to Olive Garden last night but I did anyway. And I wish I hadn't. The last couple of days I've been exercising on the Wii after the kids wake up and have breakfast. I let Brandon pick the exercises and he enjoys watching it (it's like a cartoon) and I get a pretty good workout.

I've also been doing Pilates and loving that. At the end of the workout Mari Windsor always says, "Be consistent and you will see dramatic results." I've been trying to live by that.

Weigh in....

Weighed myself today. Not good. I've gained 5 pounds since I last weighed in. I kindof expected it though. We got TONS of Easter candy and it's been so hard to control myself. And Brandon has been waking up super early lately and I haven't been getting in my exercise.

Sometimes I just want to throw away all the candy and sweets in this house! If they're not here I won't crave them, right? But then my frugal side kids in and says, "Don't waste that candy!"

So hard.

However, after weighing myself I felt instant depression and didn't feel like working out at all. But I did anyway. Go me!

Isn't it Ironic?

It's funny how starting an exercise routine can make you feel even worse about yourself. At least for me. Which is one of the many things, I think, that makes exercising so freakin hard. But for the past week I have gotten up early everyday and exercised. The more regularly I do it, the better I feel about myself. I took the weekend off and I am wishing it was Monday so I can exercise and feel good again!

ugh

It is SO hard getting back into the routine of exercising regularly. Last night laying in bed I thought to myself, "I can feel myself gaining weight. I don't feel pretty anymore. I feel fat." I hate that feeling. I'm afraid to weigh myself...

But this morning I actually got out of bed when my alarm went off and worked out. And after I did it, I felt great. Still felt fat but I felt good about the decision I had made to exercise.

I've found some good motivational quotes on Pinterest that I am having to say in my head over and over and over.

Some is better than none

I read this great little article from babycenter.com that gives lots of good, easy ideas for getting in some exercise with a new baby. It hit home for me. Exercising for only 10 minutes a day can make a world of difference. I copied the ones that are most applicable to me.

For many new moms, exercise takes a back seat to more pressing concerns – sleep, for instance. But you'll find you have renewed energy for yourself and your baby if you make time for even short bursts of exercise. Ten minutes here and there is better than nothing, and it'll do you a world of good.
The key is finding an activity that you enjoy and that meshes with your schedule and lifestyle. If you like what you do during your workout, you'll view it as a necessity rather than an option. For starters, try these suggestions:

• Put your baby in the stroller and go for a walk.

• Have your partner or another caregiver watch the baby for 30 minutes so you can get out for a walk around the neighborhood – and enjoy some precious time to yourself. If you're working outside the house, try getting up about an hour before you need to leave in the morning and head to the gym or go for a walk. If you're a stay-at-home mom, get up before your partner leaves to get some exercise in.

• Join a mom-and-baby stroller exercise program like Stroller Strides, Baby Boot Camp, or Stroller Fit. It's a great way to get outside, exercise, meet other moms, and spend time with your baby.

• Consider investing in some home exercise equipment that you can use when your baby is napping or otherwise occupied. Even something as small as a jump rope or some weights will help you get into shape.

• Build a library of exercise DVDs or add some videos to your DVR. Exercise shows can be a fun and convenient way to fit a workout into your busy schedule. You may even be able to find some titles on your library's shelves.

sorry...

Well, I've kinda had a set back in my weightloss. All 4 of us have had colds the past 3 weeks so all of my time and energy has been focused on taking care of my kids, husband and self. Sorry things are going so slowly here. I feel like I am in a lot more control of my eating habits now that I'm not counting calories, though.

Update

Things are going fine here. I'm still not feeling great about myself and I think it's because I'm still wearing maternity shirts on a regular basis. I think I'm gonna have to be brave and get rid of all my maternity clothes...even though that means I'll only have like 3 shirts. But it's like those people who have lost a lot of weight but keep all their old fat clothes just in case, ya know? Doesn't really do any good. I'm scared about taking this big step; a step that probably doesn't seem like much to anyone else.

Figuring myself out...again

It's funny how weight loss tricks work for me at some times and not at all other times. Like counting calories. Back in my single days I was counting calories and losing weight like crazy. But this time around I've discovered that counting calories has actually made me gain weight. During the day and seeing how much I've eaten and how much I can eat later on made me think, "Oh, well I'm doing great! A handful of chocolate chips won't hurt me." Five times a day later, I'm feeling awful about my choices and the weight keeps coming on. But for the last month I haven't counted calories and haven't gained any weight. I'm more conscious about not eating too much and have less chocolate cravings. Weird, right?!

So, my goal for the next few days is to just work out more. We got an exercise bike with our tax return this year and I want to try waking up early before any of the kids are awake and exercising for 20 minutes. I think this will be good for me to get some alone time and also I won't be trying to fit in exercising and showering in between Katy's naptimes and stuff.

Thanks for listening :)

Say it like it is...

...accept it, and move on. Ok, this is probably going to be the hardest post of this entire blog. It's really hard for me to share all this information with you. But, I figure if it's out in the open (making me a little embarrassed) I will be more willing to change it. So, here it is.

Date 3/1/2012
Weight 222 lbs
BMI 35.8
Chest 42"
Rt Arm 12"
Waist 47.5"
Hips 52.5"
Rt. Thigh 29"
Rt. Calf  17"

I'm accepting it...and trying to move on..I'm not gonna say too much here. I do have to say that, although you can't see it in this picture, I've always thought my calves were cute.

Welcome

I'm getting back into the swing of losing weight. I tried really hard during my last pregnancy not to gain too much and I only gained like 15 pounds. After Katy was born I weighed 1 pound less than when I got pregnant with her. I was feeling so great about myself!

But since she's been born I keep gaining weight! I've been feeling really bad about myself. I've got to get back on track and I need to be accountable to someone! So please follow this blog and comment and cheer me on! I need you!